Long time no see

Heya guys. Long time no see and a new layout :] I actually really like it, very neat, very simple and clean and I like to think it's somewhat sophisticated, but I'm not entirely sure what a sophisticated website layout looks like :P

Well not much has happened... then again I'm fifteen now. I've been fifteen for sixteen days, so do you want to do the maths or should I just tell you? I think I'll let you do it because I feel lazy like that. I had a pretty good birthday. I got an ipod nano which is so small I think I'm going to break it. I also got £75 of smiths vouchers! I love that shop (for those people who don't live in the UK it's a nice big stationary shop with all the books, notepads, pens, dvds and CDs one could desire so I'm happy :] It really does pay to have so many family members sometimes ;)

I got Phantom of the Opera on dvd too, and the Doctor Who series 2 box-set! Quite a few books... two Doctor Who ones, Across the Wall and Interview with a Vampire :D And now I'm almost certain I'm confusing birthday presents with christmas presents (and I'm sure you don't care) but I also got the Jurassic Park box set and DMC3 Special edition :]

So yesh, very entertained and very happy :D

I'm half confident and half terrified about my GCSEs I have a new found love of maths which I really am happy about. I used to love maths in years 5 and 6, but then in KS7 I just got completely confused. Now though thanks to my tutor I just understand everything! Which really proves that your teacher plays a lot in the learning process I suppose. Hoping to get B maybe an A if I try really hard :]

French I'll get a D, maybe a C. English I'm hoping for an A, but that really depends on what's on the test. Starting my media study on Psycho: Comment on rhetorical use of the camera in 'Psycho' with reference to three denatative-cannatative analyses. What does that mean  I mean am I being stupid or is that just confusing?

Nat got to do a comparison between Moulin Rouge and some other movie so I'm kinda annoyed. I can do comparisons, but how can you tell if someone is being rhetorical with a camera?! Oh well I'll figure it out :D

ICT B maybe? You see I'm one of those people who is kinda average at everything and never brilliant at something which is kinda annoying. Then there's Nat who's predicted A* on everything, but she's an anomaly :P

The music is How to Save a Life by The Fray (the most downloaded song of all time). It's not the origional version however, my friend did a DMC video to it and fitted the clips around the song so brilliantly that I asked her to turn it into a mp3 file for me :) And she did and I love it XD

Family

I've been thinking about family a lot. Probably because it's christmas. And at christmas you think about your family because they're there. They're normally annoying and jolly and sit you at the kids table despite the fact that after a few glasses of wine they act far more like a child than you do, but it's still nice that they're there.

We went to my uncle's house for christmas because my sister and I wanted to. My parents would have much rather stayed at home seeing as my uncle and aunt can be incredably arrogant and my grandma is going senile. But because my sister and I wanted to we went anyway and we had fun. Daniel my cousin who is still 1 was opening presents and throwing food around and bashing symbols which he had been gievn for christmas -_-'' and my elder cousins were sitting with us being bored, but in the end we did have a good time. Nice food, nice conversation, no one got terribly drunk and no one argued.

I suppose that once we accepted that we were there and should have a good time anyway we really started to enjoy it.

Lately I've just seen people saying how they have no connections with their parents or family - mainly parents though and that makes me kinda sad. I really don't know what I'd do without my family there. My mum's more like a big sister sometimes and though my dad and I don't always generally see eye to eye he's pretty cool. Ha! That seems like a weird thing to say, but I'm definatly the boy in my family and it's nice to have someone to do boy stuff with... or talk about it with. Like going to see the new James Bond and rugby matches. I'm never sure whether I'm more boyish because I want my dad to have a boy or because of the way I am. Probably a bit of both I think. My mum was a tom-boy and has never been interested in girl things (make up etc.) so maybe it's genetic. Then again looking at my sister... I think maybe she's got more pier pressure on her side, though at least she hasn't gone completely overboard...

Well basically I suppose I'm thankful. Maybe we need a thanksgiving over in england, but it's incredably cheesy to be thankful for everything when really everyone knows it's just ritual. So I'm thankful for my family and for what I have with my parents and my home even if that is kinda cheesy :]

    Okay well I added that chapter of five drabbles to my account on HPFF - but it keeps going to the back of the validation que because I keep on editing it. Which I'm kinda happy about because now it's better... but not perfect of course. Those drabbles were really just an excuse for me to make the banner and get the idea out there before I forget. I only just scraped the 500 word limit and the last one is pretty rubbish.

Well I just wanted to do something with these beautiful pictures of Nicole Kidman in the Chanel advert. I don't know why, but she reminded me of how I pictured Narcissa... seeing as Narcissa is the female form of Narcissus in mythology and he was vain, but also beautiful. That is if I remember correctly. And the fact that she has blonde hair and blue/grey eyes worked too. I'm not sure if they touched her eyes up in the posters or if her eyes change colour in light ('coz mine tend to do that XD). She's a very good acctress though apart from that, there was so much emotion in just an advert, and I think most of it was in her look in these two pictures:

 So yeah... Dead Calm was on the other day too, which was good, kinda weird plot-line, but it's nice to see her with her natural hair colour... which brings me on to the question of whether or not her eyes are naturally blue or green. Not sure why I care, she just is very pretty, and seeing as I'm so obsessed with beauty I just noticed that.

Anyway, moving on. I found out that it is impossibly hard to make music video of the Matrix with fast music. Why? Because you get to the action parts and they all slow down :D I did one to One Man Army by Our Lady Peace, seeing as Neo is kinda a one man army. Then again so is Smith because it's an army of his clones, which are still all one person, or all one programe or something :P

Well here's the linky I would have put the video in here, but then again you wouldn't be able to hear the music properly over the music on my xanga, which I must change.

Can't wait for Hugo Weaving's next movie to come out, he plays a gay ex-rugby league heroin addict, that's a quite a mouthful! I don't think that he'd have any trouble with the gay part, just wondering about the rugby league part :D Might convince my rugby obsessed father to take me to see it... then again he might put two and two together and come up with five -_-''

I want to make a really pretty new layout :P well not pretty... just cool. I think this and my 'he's a pirate' layouts are the only ones I've really liked.

I was considering turning Julian Sands into a Vampire (okay he's already been one) but because he was origionally going to be in Interview With A Vampire which he should have been, damn marquee value... he would have been so much better. Then again I suppose I'm thinking of him when he was a good deal younger, but still.

Well I kinda wanted something darker anyway...

Why? I have no idea, it probably won't help my mood. But... beautifully dark, does that make sense to anyone?

I'm still planning that Lucius/Narcissa fic I've been going on about. It's not that I like the characters - actually I do, but not as they are in the books, Narcissa's okay I suppose. It's just kinda clear in the books that decpite everything they really do love each other. But the way Narcissa acts in the half blood prince makes me think that the whole family isn't totally deluded into thinking that everything is perfectly fine the way it's happening. I don't know I suppose I just want to explore their relationship a little more - though I have no idea where to start.

It's kinda weird you don't know how much you know a thing unless you feel completely lost somewhere else. Does that make sense? I mean I've been obsessed with LotR for so long that I start to expect that everyone else knows everything about it. Now trying to write HP fan fiction I have to research everything before I write -_-'' something I'm not happy with even though I know life shouldn't always be easy XD

So yes at the moment I suppose all I've got is a one-shot about Narcissa going to visit him in Azkaban - and about half a million drabbles.

Anyway, no more talking about people who don't actually exsist. Even though that's what I spend half my live doing :) 

Been thinking about this quote by Alfred D Souza lately. I love it so much, but at the same time I dislike it, because unless you've really picked a day to live and not care and then you plan on dying then you're probably going to regret some of the things you did. You can't do both you know? You can't plan ahead and dance like no one is watching at the same time.

I suppose the idea is to make you realize that in the end thinking about getting through everything isn't the important thing. Wishing time away is really isn't a good idea and praying that you'll sail through doesn't matter either.

There are things which have been tough for me to get through these passed years. I can actually look back and see them now, though at the time nothing really made sense.

For example take a test, GCSE or A-Level, it doesn't really matter. Then you imagine being bottom of the class all the way through life and you work really hard for a B and you get it when everyone else told you to do foundation level instead of higher. It wouldn't matter that you got an A or A* because that B would mean so much more to you.

Anyway here's the quote:

"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."

This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the journey you take and the problems you face.

So, treasure every moment that you have. And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with... and remember that time waits for no one ...

So stop waiting until you finish school ... until you go back to school ... until you lose ten pounds ... until you gain ten pounds ... until you have kids ... until your kids leave the house ... until you start work ... until you retire ... until you get married ... until you get divorced ... until Friday night ... until Sunday morning ... until you get a new car or home ... until your car or home is paid off ... until spring, until summer ... until fall ... until winter ... until you are off welfare ... until the first or fifteenth ... until your song comes on ... until you've had a drink ... until you've sobered up ... until you die ... until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy.

Happiness isn't just bliss, it's getting back on the horse after you've fallen off. It's rising out of the ashes when it seems like there's nothing left.

Thought for the day (like we used to do in school):

"Work like you don't need money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
And dance like no one's watching."